What is love? A feeling? A state of mind? A chemical state? Whatever it is, if it is from our ego then we can be assured that it is not love. It may feel so good that our heart's feel like they are about to burst. Yet, it may send us to the deepest levels of hell when our ego-bound ideas run the show.
True love is not romantic, not sexual, not physical...definitely not a feeling, certainly not a thought.
True love is the state of mind that only occurs when the clash of opposites are collapsed into a synthesis of higher understanding. It is transcendent. A daily death of the ego, a birth and resurrection of your true self.
Its not the projections of the ego onto the other, nor is it the hearts and flowers we give on Valentine's Day. It is the awareness of our higher self living in the the truth of the moment.
The great paradox of love is this: When you give the real thing away, you end up having more.
Showing posts with label Paradox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paradox. Show all posts
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Friday, February 20, 2009
If Life is a Game, then Knowing the Rules Can Help You Win
Is life a game?
Not likely.
But paradoxically it can be played as a game to our individual and mutual benefit.
The concept of game playing as it applies to human behavior was popularized by psychiatrist Dr. Eric Berne in his 1964 book "Games People Play."
In Games People Play, Berne defined games as:
"A game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively, it is a recurring set of transactions... with a concealed motivation... or gimmick."
Hence the current terms of non-endearment like, "Quit playing games with my heart, my head, my mind, etc."
The interactions ultimately progress to an outcome in which one individual obtains a "payoff" or "goal." In most cases, the participants of the games are unaware that they are "playing." Or I might add, being "played":)
The famous author Kurt Vonnegut Jr. said of Games People Play:
"An important book . . . a brilliant, amusing, and clear catalogue of the psychological theatricals that human beings play over and over again. The good Doctor has provided story lines that hacks will not exhaust in the next 10,000 years"
Gee, can Vonnegut say it with flare? Yep. Pure Psychological theatrics.
Shakespeare said it in "As You Like It";
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation...
We have roles to play, planes to catch and games to play...
Some of the more popular games people (BTW this means you and me:) play:
1. "If It Weren't For You" or IWFY. Essentially the Blame Game with payoffs for the players. Usually unconscious of the payoffs, we play it until the payoff, whatever they maybe for each player is no longer realized.
2. "See What You Make Me Do!" Another version of the Blame Game. Usually precipatated by some internal irritation. And a form of self-protection.
3. "Ain't it Aweful!" The poor me game. Poor you. Nowadays things are so bad:) Which I'm sure many would agree to.
Dr. Berne categorizes many more games people play. I recommend you read his book. It is as germain today as it was in 1964 when it was originally published.
But, these transactional games are not the main course for this Game we play. It is merely the appetizer:)
The real game I am alluding to is a "Game Worth Playing" aka your life as a winner and what it rally means to play it.
But at this point I'm to tired to get into the main course. Next post, or the next next post I will delve into Game Theory and how we can use its ideas to create a Game Worth Playing.
In this view of the game, we makes moves (aka choices and actions) in both a sequential and simultaneous manner. All moves must be part of a strategy which includes looking forward and reasoning backwards.
Using Game Theory as our foundation, we can consciously create and play for fun and profit a game worth playing.
Until next time.
Not likely.
But paradoxically it can be played as a game to our individual and mutual benefit.
The concept of game playing as it applies to human behavior was popularized by psychiatrist Dr. Eric Berne in his 1964 book "Games People Play."
In Games People Play, Berne defined games as:
"A game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively, it is a recurring set of transactions... with a concealed motivation... or gimmick."
Hence the current terms of non-endearment like, "Quit playing games with my heart, my head, my mind, etc."
The interactions ultimately progress to an outcome in which one individual obtains a "payoff" or "goal." In most cases, the participants of the games are unaware that they are "playing." Or I might add, being "played":)
The famous author Kurt Vonnegut Jr. said of Games People Play:
"An important book . . . a brilliant, amusing, and clear catalogue of the psychological theatricals that human beings play over and over again. The good Doctor has provided story lines that hacks will not exhaust in the next 10,000 years"
Gee, can Vonnegut say it with flare? Yep. Pure Psychological theatrics.
Shakespeare said it in "As You Like It";
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation...
We have roles to play, planes to catch and games to play...
Some of the more popular games people (BTW this means you and me:) play:
1. "If It Weren't For You" or IWFY. Essentially the Blame Game with payoffs for the players. Usually unconscious of the payoffs, we play it until the payoff, whatever they maybe for each player is no longer realized.
2. "See What You Make Me Do!" Another version of the Blame Game. Usually precipatated by some internal irritation. And a form of self-protection.
3. "Ain't it Aweful!" The poor me game. Poor you. Nowadays things are so bad:) Which I'm sure many would agree to.
Dr. Berne categorizes many more games people play. I recommend you read his book. It is as germain today as it was in 1964 when it was originally published.
But, these transactional games are not the main course for this Game we play. It is merely the appetizer:)
The real game I am alluding to is a "Game Worth Playing" aka your life as a winner and what it rally means to play it.
But at this point I'm to tired to get into the main course. Next post, or the next next post I will delve into Game Theory and how we can use its ideas to create a Game Worth Playing.
In this view of the game, we makes moves (aka choices and actions) in both a sequential and simultaneous manner. All moves must be part of a strategy which includes looking forward and reasoning backwards.
Using Game Theory as our foundation, we can consciously create and play for fun and profit a game worth playing.
Until next time.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Practical Matters
Like any idea that doesn't conveniently fit with our normal expectations, a few bookkeeping items will help us to appreciate the extraordinary nature of paradoxes.
Numero uno is the definition of the word. Paradox...sounds like a pair of docs, which is another paradox I will share with you in a future post. Paradoxes come in different flavors.
The version that is most valuable for our purposes is a statement of conclusion that seems self-contradictory or absurd but is really true.
Many spiritual adages are constructed this way. "The more you know the less you know, " It is better to give than receive." Of course the proof is in the pudding as they say. Your own life experience will inform you. This is the great lesson of maturity, to see for yourself the wisdom which arises from living the paradox. It transcends our conditioning, both mental and physical through the realization of its living truth.
The next version of paradox is a statement of conclusion that despite a valid argument and valid premises leads to a nonsensical conclusion. One of the most famous is called Zeno's Paradox of Motion. In this story an arrow is fired from point A to point B but it never arrives. Why? Well, according to Zeno the arrow at any instant cannot reach point B because prior to getting to halfway to point B, you must get halfway to halfway to getting to point B. And so on...ad infinitum. Of course Zeno was unwilling to have the arrow fired his way.
And the last version is a statement in which no truth value can be assigned. An example of this kind of paradox is;
1. This statement is false.
2a. Suppose 1 is true.
Contradiction: If it’s true that it’s false then it isn’t false.
Our focus is on paradoxes of the first kind and the opportunities for a wise awakening.
Numero uno is the definition of the word. Paradox...sounds like a pair of docs, which is another paradox I will share with you in a future post. Paradoxes come in different flavors.
The version that is most valuable for our purposes is a statement of conclusion that seems self-contradictory or absurd but is really true.
Many spiritual adages are constructed this way. "The more you know the less you know, " It is better to give than receive." Of course the proof is in the pudding as they say. Your own life experience will inform you. This is the great lesson of maturity, to see for yourself the wisdom which arises from living the paradox. It transcends our conditioning, both mental and physical through the realization of its living truth.
The next version of paradox is a statement of conclusion that despite a valid argument and valid premises leads to a nonsensical conclusion. One of the most famous is called Zeno's Paradox of Motion. In this story an arrow is fired from point A to point B but it never arrives. Why? Well, according to Zeno the arrow at any instant cannot reach point B because prior to getting to halfway to point B, you must get halfway to halfway to getting to point B. And so on...ad infinitum. Of course Zeno was unwilling to have the arrow fired his way.
And the last version is a statement in which no truth value can be assigned. An example of this kind of paradox is;
1. This statement is false.
2a. Suppose 1 is true.
Contradiction: If it’s true that it’s false then it isn’t false.
Our focus is on paradoxes of the first kind and the opportunities for a wise awakening.
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