The Paradox of Change

We do what we do usually because we have already been "conditioned" to act and react in a particular way. Over time, "change" becomes more difficult as we become "comfortable" with our "habits" of being us. The process of developing new behaviors is "uncomfortable" as we move into adulthood even if they hold the promise of a better life.

The reality for the majority of us is that "change" will become more difficult over time. The challenge for us is to find both the willingness within us and the means to implement change that is both compelling and effective. We must discover within ourselves "change we can believe in."

This requires of us the ability to adapt over time to maximize our life experience. Conscious change and adaption is essential. I like the assertion made by Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget:

"Intelligence is an adaptation…To say that intelligence is a particular instance of biological adaptation is thus to suppose that it is essentially an organization and that its function is to structure the universe just as the organism structures its immediate environment"

Whether you agree with this assertion about intelligence or not, what is essential to keep in mind is that "adaption" aka the ability to "change" in a conscious way is an "intelligent" asset to have in our mental arsenal.

We are creatures of habit

This acquired pattern of behavior often occurs automatically and unconsciously. Over time we become "habituated" to "being" and "doing" in a pattern of behavior that we come to accept as "me."

These patterns of behavior are "embodied" in such a way as to ensure that the behavior will persist come hell or high-water. This fact is neither good nor bad, its just how it is. The challenge arises when decide to "alter our normal pattern of behavior."

The Good News

The good news is that our habits tend to make our lives easier.

1. They act as reliable shortcuts for "routine" tasks
2. They lay down "tracks" so that the mind has a "pattern" for the body to follow
3. They free the mind to consciously handle other matters

The Bad News

The bad news is that our habits once formed are hard to break. This is good news when our habits are serving our life needs successfully. Its bad news when we realize that some of our " habits" are getting in the way of living a successful life.

This "reality" of you is "creating" your life experiences. To change both your experiences and your outcomes requires that you be able to "disrupt the pattern" that is driving your current experience and replace it with a pattern that "embodies" the desired new behavior.

We must be willing to do what ever is necessary to "embody the change" and to temporarily "suffer" the discomforts that naturally arise when doing life "differently."

The Discomfort of Change

Any attempt to alter our "habitual pattern of behavior" will be met with some form of resistance and discomfort. The new pattern of behavior feels "uncomfortable" or awkward. It just doesn't "feel right." With the passage of time we tend to "identify" with our habits, and these patterns eventually become what we experience as "us." Changing us over time just "feels" wrong even if the change is "right.":)

What can we do about it?

Change "You" can Believe in

For us to actually "change", we must "break the habit" of our normal self. We must "disrupt the pattern" of how we do what we "normally" do.

How?

Real change, change you can see, change "you" can believe in can be achieved in a 3-step process:

1. Knowledge and awareness of a pattern of behavior you want to have
2. A set of instructions to apply this "knowledge" correctly
3. Feedback to help correct and adjust behavior to produce the desired outcome. This helps to match our "intentions" with our "actions" aka "behaviors."

We all want change to be easy. Sometimes it can feel that way. Usually its "uncomfortable." Knowing this in advance, it behooves us to find our own compelling reason for change...change "we" can believe in.